


Lost in echoes, Found in shadows

by barbitone



Series: Merlin Fanfiction [11]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Anal Sex, Bottom Arthur, Bottom Arthur Fest (Merlin), Fae & Fairies, First Time, M/M, Magic, Ritual Sex, Sex Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-28 04:08:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18748723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barbitone/pseuds/barbitone
Summary: Arthur saves a magical creature in the woods, earning its eternal gratitude and a favor that he can collect at any time. He doesn’t mean to ever use the favor, but once he becomes King he finds he has no other choice but to summon the creature- Merlin- to his aid.But favors aren’t so simple, and the Old Religion always extracts its own price.





	Lost in echoes, Found in shadows

**Author's Note:**

> So excited to post my Bottom Arthur Fest fic!!! 
> 
> Title is from Hocking by Cosmo Sheldrake

 

 

* * *

 

Arthur couldn’t help grinning as he pushed his mare, Llamrei, into a gallop down the forest path, the setting sun painting everything gold. He didn’t usually do this- sneak away from his training like this- but something about this beautiful spring day made him ache to be free, to ride, to just- let himself be a seventeen year old boy for once instead of being _the prince._

He’d catch hell for it when he returned, of that he had no doubt. But somehow the inevitable scolding seemed far away, unimportant. All that mattered was the fresh air, the wind blowing back his dark green cloak, the exhilaration of Llamrei’s powerful body moving under him, driving them forwards, forwards- somewhere.

A fawn darted across the path and Arthur laughed, turning his head to watch it go. It had been a long and dismal winter and now everything was alive around him, like Camelot had taken a deep breath in preparation for rising from a heavy slumber, and Arthur’s heart was singing with it.

As the sun sank lower towards the horizon the sky grew darker, gold and blue turning to pale pinks and rich purples, and then a dark red like the banners that hung from Camelot’s parapets. Arthur pulled back on the reins to slow Llamrei down. It wouldn’t do for her to twist an ankle- or worse- in the growing gloom.

He was just about to turn regretfully back when he heard it- a pained cry somewhere close by. Arthur pulled Llamrei to a stop, tilting his head so he could pinpoint the source of the sound. There was something strange about it, something not quite human-

It came again, so full of pain and fear that it made Arthur’s heart ache in his chest, and he was moving towards it before quite making the decision to do so.

As he got closer he thought he could just make out a fire flickering past the trees, and then he was riding out into a clearing, his heart pounding wildly in his chest with fear and anger and something like anticipation.

There were half a dozen men standing in the clearing, surrounding a campfire and-

A boy, or maybe a young man. He was sitting sprawled on the ground, his hair dark where it tumbled around his ears and down his neck in soft curls. He looked up as Arthur rode up, his eyes strangely bright, gold with the reflection of the campfire. He was pale and shaking, clutching some sort of ragged blanket close to his chest. Arthur frowned as he realized the young man didn’t seem to be wearing clothes underneath.

“What is the meaning of this?” he demanded and the men- hunters by the looks of them- jerked to glare at him.

“What’s it to you?” one of the hunters asked with a scowl. “Mind your own business.”

“Everything that happens in this land is my business,” Arthur answered haughtily. “What are you doing with this man? Let him go.”

“We caught him fair and square,” one of the others said, dropping his hand to the hilt of his sword. “He’s ours to do with as we will.”

The young man looked up at Arthur, his eyes full of fear and longing, like he was pleading for Arthur to help him.

“I don’t think so,” Arthur said slowly. “This is your last chance. Let him go.”

The hunters laughed. “Who do you think you are?” the first one asked. “The King?”

“The Prince,” Arthur said with a smirk.

One of the hunters spit on the ground in disgust and drew his sword, rushing towards him. Arthur drew and fired his crossbow in one fluid motion, catching the man in the shoulder. He stumbled and fell and then the others were coming at him too.

There wasn’t time to reload the crossbow, wasn’t time to be afraid about how many of them there were- Arthur chucked the crossbow at someone’s face and drew his sword as Llamrei reared up with a whinny before kicking one of the men in the chest. The rest was a flurry of battle. The sun was fully down now and Arthur could barely make out what was happening in the flickering firelight.

It was all he could do to fend off the men coming at him, slashing wildly as Llamrei tossed her head and kicked and bit like a monster. When there were only three hunters left standing they broke and ran, dragging their injured fellows along with them.

“That’s right, run!” Arthur yelled after them, breathing hard. His heart was pounding with adrenaline, blood rushing through his ears. He looked down at the young man still sitting on the ground and everything went silent.

Arthur put away his sword and patted Llamrei gently on the neck before dismounting and walking closer.

The young man flinched and turned his face away, his lower lip quivering as Arthur knelt beside him.

“Hey,” Arthur said quietly. “It’s alright- I’m here to help.”

The young man didn’t say anything and Arthur frowned at him. “I promise- it’s alright, you're safe now. Are you hurt?”

Arthur’s mouth went dry when the stranger looked at him. There was something odd about him- something Arthur couldn’t quite put his finger on. He was so beautiful, more beautiful than a man had any right to be. His eyelashes were long and dark, impossibly lush as they framed his golden eyes. That was odd too- but it was just a trick of the firelight. It had to be.

“Are you hurt?” Arthur repeated.

The stranger nodded and slowly moved the blanket, revealing his shapely naked thigh, pierced through by a silver arrow. Arthur frowned as he stared- a silver arrow? Who would waste perfectly good silver on such a thing?

He set his hands carefully on the stranger’s thigh- hissing with how _hot_ he was to the touch. That wasn’t- that wasn’t normal. But maybe he was running a fever, or- or there was some other perfectly reasonable explanation.

“I think I can get this out,” Arthur muttered, trying to focus on what he was doing. The shaft of the arrow was thin and he took it carefully in his hands. After a few deep breaths he gritted his teeth and- the shaft snapped with surprising ease and he threw the fletching away. “Ready?” he asked.

The young man nodded and Arthur pulled firmly, the arrow sliding easily out of his thigh.

The young man gasped and reached out to take Arthur by the shoulders, letting go of the blanket. It slipped down to pool in his lap, only barely covering his modesty.

“Let me just- bandage that,” Arthur said, tearing his eyes away from the elegant planes of the stranger’s chest. He forced himself to look back down to the arrow wound, except-

The stranger’s thigh was pale and smooth, marked only by a smudge of blood and nothing else. The wound was gone.

“What the-” Arthur jerked back, out of the man’s hold. As he moved backwards he saw the stranger’s hands, except- he had _talons_ and his fingers seemed oddly dark. As he watched the darkness spread up his arms and it almost looked like- like tiny _feathers_ sprouting to cover his skin.

“What are you?” Arthur demanded, his heart pounding with fear as he scrambled back.

The man- the- the- _thing_ tilted its head to the side, watching Arthur curiously. How had he ever thought it was human? Its eyes were glowing gold, its skin was oddly smooth and pale. Its lips were strange too- no human man had lips like that, so perfectly plush and pink, so soft looking.

The creature blinked a few times, and then it opened its mouth to speak.

“I owe you a debt, Arthur Pendragon,” it said, its voice honey-sweet. “What do you need? Ask me for anything and you shall have it.”

Arthur shivered, his breathing coming faster until he was practically hyperventilating. What had he done?

The creature smiled. It should have been ominous but it seemed profoundly kind instead.

“Think on it,” the creature said. “When you’re ready to call on me- wait until the full moon is high in the heavens and light a candle before a mirror. Look into it and call my name three times. I will come to you.”

“What- what is your name?” Arthur whispered.

The creature smiled. Its whole body was covered in feathers now, black and sleek, shimmering in the flickering firelight. It rose to its feet and Arthur had to crane his head back, shocked at how _tall_ it was.

“Some call me Emrys,” it said. “But you may call me… Merlin.”

Between one moment and the next it was simply _gone_ and Arthur was alone in the clearing staring at nothing. Llamrei snorted quietly and nudged him in the shoulder.

“Alright then,” Arthur muttered as he got shakily to his feet. He couldn’t stop picturing the creature’s warm golden eyes, couldn’t help replaying that name over and over again in his mind as he rode home.

_Merlin._

 

* * *

 

In the following years Arthur found himself thinking of that night often, found himself dreaming of Merlin’s eyes, Merlin’s smile… his lips.

He often woke confused and hot, sweating through his mussed sheets, wanting- something.

It was foolish and dangerous. Merlin was a creature of magic and magic was outlawed, and for good reason. But Merlin hadn’t hurt him. He could have, so easily. But he’d offered Arthur _anything_ instead.

He tried to convince himself that it was all some kind of trick but still there were many times throughout the years that he was tempted to call on Merlin again.

The life of a Prince was hard, even harder in a kingdom that always seemed to be under attack like Camelot was. On the eve of his battle with Knight Valiant Arthur was so afraid he nearly summoned Merlin- but it wasn’t the full moon and finally reason caught up with him. It was selfish, to summon a creature of magic for something like this, to save his own skin.

He nearly summoned Merlin when Camelot was hit by plague, but just as his resolve was on the verge of breaking Gaius found a way to cure the illness. The third time Arthur seriously considered it was when Uther was on his deathbed. Arthur stared at the full moon through the window as he sat at his father’s bedside, holding his frail hand.

Their relationship had always been strained and only growing more so as Arthur grew older and started questioning Uther’s blind hatred of magic- but even so Uther was his _father._ Arthur loved him, and knew Uther loved him too. He didn’t want him to die, didn’t want to be alone, didn’t want to be _King_.

“Don’t go,” he whispered, tightening his hand. “Please don’t go. I’m not ready.”

Uther turned slowly, his eyes strangely clear for once. “No one ever is,” he said.

Arthur sniffled loudly as tears slipped down his cheeks. There was already a candle standing before a mirror across the room. The full moon was high in the heavens-

But it wasn’t right. It wasn’t right.

Uther slipped away that night and Arthur was crowned King, and afterwards things only got harder.

He had Gaius, and Gwen, and Morgana. He had his knights around him. He was loved, he knew that much- and yet he still felt so painfully alone. For all the support of his friends, the weight of the kingdom rested on his shoulders and his alone. No one could understand that weight, not truly. No one could understand how it crushed him until he found himself waking in a panic some nights, gasping for air.

It was all on him- only on him.

Being King was difficult, to say the least. There were assassination attempts and plots to kidnap him, to drag Camelot into war, to enchant him into a sham marriage. There were magical beasts and bandits terrorizing his people, rival Kings and warlords at his borders, itching to take a bite.

Arthur forced himself to just- keep moving forward. He forced himself to eat, to smile, to attend training sessions. He didn’t let anyone know how difficult it was, how much it took a toll on him. All he wanted was to curl up and hide away but he couldn’t. He was the King now, he had to take care of everyone.

The first winter of his reign was long and dark, and then it got so much darker. The night of the midwinter festival a drunk servant tripped and fell, dropping his lantern. The granary burned, most of their winter food stores burning with it.

Arthur spent hours that night out in the cold, carrying buckets with everyone else, trying to put out the flames. He made it back to his rooms a few scant hours before dawn, and as he sank down into his chair the full enormity of the situation hit him so hard it felt like his ribs had caved in.

Their winter food stores- so much was gone now. The fields were covered in snow, the trade routes as well. They couldn’t grow more food, couldn’t purchase it and bring it back in time to save the people of Camelot. There would be famine, countless people would die under his watch. It was his fault, his responsibility. He’d failed.

How had this happened? How could he have failed so quickly?

Arthur sobbed as he dropped his face into his hands. How could anyone be expected to do this alone? How could he? He was just a man, barely a man at that. He’d been a boy five summers ago and now he was a King.

He cried himself to exhaustion, ashamed and unable to stop himself, and when the sobbing finally stilled he looked up to see the full moon shining through the window.

Now. It had to be now. He had nothing else.

He set a candle in front of a mirror and lit it before staring at his own face, puffy and red, streaked with drying tears.

“Merlin,” he said, his voice coming out shaky and weak. “Merlin,” he repeated, firmer. He opened his mouth to say it again and the name caught in his throat. This was foolish. Dangerous. But what was he to do? What else could he do?

“Merlin,” he said for a final time and closed his eyes.

For a while nothing happened and Arthur sighed bitterly, opening his eyes. Of course. It was all a lie, a trick-

There was a sound like the fluttering of wings behind him and the candle abruptly went out, leaving a thin line of smoke hanging in the air. Arthur jerked to his feet and turned, his eyes widening when he saw the tall shadow standing by the window.

Merlin.

His eyes were glowing gold in the darkness and as he stepped forward the moonlight streaming through the window lit up his face. There was a kindly smile playing over his lips and Arthur found himself frozen as Merlin came closer. He was wearing a black cloak that looked to be stitched out of raven feathers, glistening in the moonlight, and he was even more beautiful than Arthur remembered.

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his heart hammering in his chest as the creature- the spirit- the- the _man_ walked closer.

“Yes, sire,” he said in his rich honeyed voice. “I’m here.”

Arthur wasn’t sure how this was supposed to go, if there was some ritual he needed to perform, some etiquette he needed to keep to. “I need-” he started, and wasn’t sure how to finish. He’d never had to ask for what he needed before, didn’t know how. “I need-” he tried again.

“I know what you need,” Merlin murmured.

He reached out and set his hand against the side of Arthur’s face. He was careful with his wicked talons; his skin was just as hot as Arthur remembered.

“You’re not alone any longer,” Merlin said with a smile and slipped his hand over to the back of Arthur’s neck, pulling him in against his body, wrapping his arms around him.

Arthur couldn’t help closing his eyes with a shudder, raising his hands to grip Merlin’s waist. Merlin closed his cloak around the both of them and something in Arthur’s heart seemed to ease.

He could breathe again.

Merlin took a step backwards, drawing Arthur with him, then another. Before he quite knew how it had happened they were lying in his bed together, Merlin’s arms still around him.

“Tomorrow at dawn,” Merlin whispered, his breath ghosting over Arthur’s skin. “Bring a silver ring and a bowl of cream up to the highest tower in your castle. Set them out on the windowsill, before the rising sun. Drop the ring into the cream, along with a drop of your blood, and whisper my name three times.

“Do this for me, Arthur Pendragon. And I will give you what you need.”

 

* * *

 

Arthur woke alone to darkness but there were black feathers strewn about his bed so he knew it hadn’t been a dream. He stood and spared a glance out the window- the sky was starting to lighten on the horizon.

He tugged on his boots as he thought about what he had to do. He was a warrior more than a courtier- he didn’t have _jewelry_ in his possession, not like other men and women in his position might have. He only had the one silver ring- the one he wore on his index finger even now, his mother’s ring. The thought of parting with it made his heart ache but he knew he had to do it.

The rest was easy enough.

He fetched a pitcher of cream and a wooden bowl from the kitchens before heading up to the highest tower. Dawn was already threatening to bloom in the sky when Arthur finally opened the east window and set out the bowl, filling it with cream. He hesitated before dropping his mother’s ring inside, and then he pulled out his dagger and pricked his left index finger, holding his shaking hand over the bowl until a single drop of ruby red blood fell to mark the white cream.

“Merlin,” he whispered as he watched the sun rising. “Merlin.” This time around he didn’t hesitate, saying it for the third time without letting doubt take him. _“Merlin.”_

He had a feeling there was no sense waiting. What would happen would happen.

He skipped breakfast and went down to the training yard instead, practicing with his sword in the hopes that it would still the anxiety shivering through him. The air smelled of bitter smoke from last night; the mood was somber. Arthur wasn’t the only one who’d realized famine was coming to Camelot this winter.

Somehow he managed to pass a few hours in a stupor until he was distracted by a page rushing towards him, calling his name.

“What is it?” Arthur asked, setting down his sword.

“There’s- he’s asking for you, sire-” the page panted.

“Who?” Arthur demanded.

“I don’t know,” the page said. “A stranger. A druid, maybe. He won’t say.”

Arthur’s heart skipped a beat and he didn’t even bother changing out of his training clothes before rushing to the throne room.

The mood in the chamber was decidedly tense but Arthur ignored it, staring at the man standing in the center of it all, a stranger in a black hooded cloak stitched of raven feathers. As Arthur walked up he raised his pale elegant hands to push back his hood, revealing his face.

Arthur faltered for a moment but kept walking forward, towards Merlin.

He looked perfectly human and Arthur couldn’t help noticing his mother’s ring glinting on Merlin’s finger. His eyes were blue now, as clear as the summer sky and as sharp as a blade. The air around him seemed to crackle with some strange power and Arthur knew he wasn’t the only one who could sense it by the way his knights shifted nervously as they watched Arthur approaching him.

“Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin greeted him with a smile and held out his hand. Arthur clasped him by the forearm, only barely managing to hold in his gasp when Merlin yanked him into an embrace, holding him tightly for a few moments before letting go.

The hall exploded into whispers but Arthur ignored them, pulling back to stare at Merlin’s face. They were almost of a height now, though Merlin stood maybe an inch or two taller. He suddenly wanted to reach out and run his fingers through Merlin’s dark curls, to see if his skin would still be unnaturally hot.

“You’re- _here_ ,” he managed.

“You called,” Merlin said with a smile.

“How long will you stay?”

“As long as you have need of me.”

Arthur swallowed heavily, suddenly painfully aware of the dozens of eyes on them.

Merlin tilted his head to the side, and for all that he appeared human his motions still seemed somehow odd, _off._ Elegant and awkward all at once. “There are things we must discuss, my King. Isn’t that so?”

“Yes,” Arthur said. “Please, follow me.” He offered his arm without quite realizing what he was doing. Merlin took it and followed as Arthur led him out of the throne room.

“Sire,” Gaius said nervously and Arthur paused. “Sire- what- who is this?”

Arthur glanced over at Merlin beside him, still smiling softly.

“This is-“ Arthur started, not knowing how he’d finish. “He’s-“ But Arthur had no idea who or _what_ he was, all he knew was that Merlin would help. Arthur settled on saying the only thing he knew for sure about the man standing beside him.

“This is Merlin.”

 

* * *

 

“Show me the granary,” Merlin murmured.

Arthur led him to the burned-out wreck, still smoking faintly.

“How long can your current stores last?”

“Two weeks,” Arthur said. “Maybe more, if we ration.”

“That won’t be necessary,” Merlin said as he stepped inside the stone chamber, bending to pick a single miraculously untouched bit of grain out of the mess of ashes. He raised it up into the light to examine it and smiled before walking over and taking Arthur’s chin in his other hand.

“Open your mouth,” Merlin ordered and Arthur did as he was told in a stupor, shivering as Merlin set the untouched grain over his tongue. It should have tasted of ashes but instead it tasted of spring and fresh water, life and new beginnings. “Swallow.”

Even as he obeyed Arthur wondered what the hell it was he was doing. After swallowing he felt oddly full, sated like he'd just had a rich meal instead of a single morsel of grain.

Merlin smiled like he could see Arthur’s uncertainty and stepped back. “You are the Once and Future King,” Merlin said, his voice low like he was sharing a secret. “You are the sun and the earth, the seed and the soil, the sickle and the plow.”

“What does that mean?” Arthur asked.

Merlin laughed, the sound of it like a bell ringing. “It means that by this time tomorrow you will have enough grain to feed your people through the winter.”

“What do I need to do next?” Arthur asked.

“There’s nothing to be done until moonrise,” Merlin said. “Until then… show me your kingdom, your city, your people.”

“What do you need to see?”

“I don’t _need_ to see anything,” Merlin said, smiling widely as he took Arthur’s arm again. “I just think it’ll be a nice way to pass the time.”

“Alright,” Arthur said.

They stopped by the armory so Arthur could grab a fresh jerkin and cloak before heading to the stables. Arthur couldn’t help smiling as Merlin found his way unerringly to Llamrei’s stall and reached out to stroke her nose.

“She likes you,” Arthur said.

“I like her too,” Merlin said. “She was there with you that night. When you saved me.”

“Yes,” Arthur said, pleased at the way Merlin was smiling. “Well- shall we? I can saddle one of the other horses for you-“

“What?” Merlin asked, his eyes wide. “I don’t- I can’t ride.”

“You- what?”

“I don’t know how.”

Arthur snorted in laughter but Merlin glared at him so he relented. “We’ll walk then.”

Mindful of the way his people watched him, Arthur didn’t dare offer his arm to Merlin again. He showed the impossible man around the castle and the grounds, then took him out into the city. It was still bustling despite last night’s disaster and Merlin seemed delighted as Arthur took him to the market and showed him the various stalls.

He bought a pie from a merchant and offered it to Merlin with a smile. “Hungry?”

Some strange sadness entered Merlin’s eyes as he shook his head and turned away. “I can’t,” he said quietly. “If I eat of your food I won’t be able to return to my home.”

“Oh,” Arthur said, surprised at himself. Somehow over the past few hours he’d managed to forget what Merlin was- a creature of magic, not entirely of this world. He’d managed to forget that at some point Merlin would leave.

“Show me your kingdom,” Merlin said and the somber moment was broken.

They walked through the city, talking about nothing and everything. Arthur found himself sharing things with Merlin he’d never shared with anyone else- the pain of his father’s passing, the weight of his crown, the uncertainty he felt with every breath.

“You’ll find your way,” Merlin said confidently as they walked through the city gate and out towards the forest. “You are Arthur Pendragon, the Once and Future King. And more than that- you are a good man. The world will open up before you. By the time you’re finished everyone will know your name. They’ll know your name for centuries to come.”

Arthur blushed, not knowing what to say.

Being with Merlin felt- easy. Strangely easy. Even knowing there were rumors spreading back home about who Merlin was, what the hell Arthur was doing running off with him while his people were on the brink of starvation... Even with all that- for once Arthur felt comfortable in his own skin.

Merlin seemed more confident outside the city walls and Arthur followed him into the woods, not knowing where they were going and yet not particularly troubled by any of it. He felt safe, even though he had no reason for it.

Before he knew it the moon was rising and Merlin took his hand, quickening his stride.

“Are you ready?” Merlin asked.

“Yes,” Arthur said, though he had no idea what it was he was meant to be ready for. It didn’t matter- he’d do anything for his people, he’d pay any price and do it gladly.

Merlin tightened his hold on Arthur’s hand and led him out into a clearing on the bank of a lake. The air was warm like a summer night, the lake was glowing with fireflies hovering over its surface.

“What is this?” Arthur asked in wonder as he watched a glowing blue butterfly fluttering past.

“A spell of fertility and love, hope and life,” Merlin said, his eyes glittering in the darkness. “Our spell. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” Arthur repeated. “What do I need to do?”

“Take off your clothes,” Merlin said and Arthur flushed even as he did what he was told, raising his shaking hands to push off his cloak and unlace his jerkin. Merlin was getting undressed before him too, taking off his cloak and the clothing he wore underneath until he was standing bare and proud in the grass.

He pulled the silver ring off his finger and let it drop with the rest of his things and Arthur could only watch as Merlin _changed_. He seemed to grow taller, larger. The blue drained out of his eyes, leaving only gold behind. His skin grew darker, though no less supple and smooth. To Arthur’s great relief his fingers remained blunt and human, not the talons he’d seen before.

Merlin stepped forward to help Arthur out of the rest of his things, and then he leaned in to press a kiss to Arthur’s lips while Arthur could only clutch at him and gasp.

“Have you done this before?” Merlin murmured against his skin, his breath oddly hot.

“I- I- no,” Arthur whispered, flushing with shame.

“Good,” Merlin crooned, biting gently at his ear. “That’s good, my King. That means the spell will be all the more potent.”

“I see,” Arthur managed, still feeling nervous and afraid.

“No need to worry,” Merlin said with a quiet laugh. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll give you what you need. Everything will be alright. Do you trust me?”

Arthur had no reason to trust him, but somehow, despite everything, he did.

He let Merlin lay him out over the dewy grass, let him press hot open-mouthed kisses to his neck. He was dizzy as Merlin stroked his naked chest and sides, his thighs. When Merlin took him by the backs of the knees and pulled his legs open wide he didn’t protest, just blushed as Merlin looked at him, his golden gaze turning hot and dark like smoldering coals.

“What do I- what should I- do?” Arthur managed. His whole body was thrumming, he felt impossibly hot, his limbs oddly heavy. It was so strange, like nothing he’d ever felt before, and still he wasn’t afraid.

“Relax, sire,” Merlin murmured. “Let me do this for you, let me take care of you.”

Arthur closed his eyes with a sharp gasp when Merlin lowered his head and took his straining cock in his mouth. His mouth was so _hot_ Arthur could hardly bear it. He moaned and threw his head back, clutching at the grass and earth beneath him. He bit his lip as Merlin took him in deeper, and then he felt a cool slick touch at his entrance and one of Merlin’s fingers pressing inside _._

“Ah!” Arthur cried out in surprise, shifting like he was trying to get away, or maybe closer. He wasn’t sure anymore, hadn’t been for a long time. Merlin pressed inside him firmly, unshaken and unmovable, and somehow Arthur felt safe and warm, taken care of like he hadn’t for a long time. He didn’t have to make decisions here, take care of anyone or anything else- he could let himself go and take the pleasure that was being offered to him. Suddenly he felt free.

Merlin twisted his finger, hitting on something inside that made Arthur’s body seize up in pleasure. He did it again, and again, and then he added a second finger and Arthur couldn’t think at all anymore- there was only hazy pleasure and the vague feeling of grass under his back.

Was this what magic was like? It couldn’t be- but it couldn’t be anything else. Nothing but magic could feel this good.

 _“Merlin,”_ Arthur panted, not sure what he was asking for, if he was even asking for anything at all.

“I’m here,” Merlin murmured and Arthur was flooded with relief at the sound of his voice. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t lost- Merlin was here, taking care of him. Doing what was needed.

Merlin added a third finger and Arthur keened at the hot stretch of it, at the feeling of being so full.

“That’s good, Arthur,” Merlin murmured. “That’s so very good. We’re almost there now, almost-”

Merlin pulled his fingers free and Arthur gasped at the shock of emptiness inside him, clenching down on nothing. He felt suddenly bereft, cold in the worst way possible-

But then Merlin was kissing him, pressing him down against the grass, and everything was right again. Arthur moaned as he wrapped his arms around Merlin’s shoulders. There was something pressing against him, Merlin’s cock. He was pushing inside and Arthur felt dizzy with how terribly _hot_ he was. It was frightening and glorious, overwhelming and amazing- and then Merlin was inside him to the hilt and he was full to bursting, barely able to catch his breath.

“Merlin,” he moaned and Merlin chuckled, moving to bite his ear. Arthur could feel sharp pin pricks of pain over his shoulders where Merlin was holding him- his talons were back, his arms covered in feathers.

“Just a little longer,” Merlin whispered. “Just a little longer, my King.”

Arthur screwed his eyes shut as Merlin started to move, fucking into him firmly, slow and deep. It was amazing, the most amazing thing he’d ever felt. His entire body was singing with pleasure and he was so hot- hotter than even before. His skin was too tight for his body, his breathing coming too quickly.

It was so much, too much-

“There you go,” Merlin murmured. “Almost there, almost- just a little longer. Just stay with me-”

Arthur sobbed as he threw his head back, wrapping his legs around Merlin’s hips. The feeling of fullness only got stronger, like there was something beautiful and powerful growing inside him. Every nerve ending was singing, his body sensitive nearly to the point of pain.

“I can’t,” he managed. He was burning up, he was throbbing. He was just on the edge but somehow he couldn’t let go. “I can’t-”

“You can,” Merlin reassured him. “You can. Just a little longer, just a little more-”

Arthur sobbed again, needy and overwhelmed. All he knew was Merlin inside him, against him, and that feeling of being full- of life, of power, of pleasure. It was too much for one body, one man to contain.

“Please,” he gasped. “Merlin, please!”

He needed release so badly; he was _aching-_

“Yes,” Merlin whispered. “Yes, my King- let go. It’s alright- I’ve got you, you’re safe here, let go-”

Arthur cried out, arching uncontrollably as he reached his climax and the fullness spilled out of him. He could barely breathe with how good the feeling of _release_ felt, with the way his body was seizing around Merlin inside him.

Endless waves of pleasure washed over him as he sobbed through it, too gone to feel ashamed. He’d never imagined he could feel this way, this good- and Merlin was still moving, thrusting into him.

Arthur’s mind was filled with a shivering haze, everything else seemed so distant. He felt it when Merlin jerked and cried out; he felt heat blooming inside him as Merlin finished in his body. Everything grew still and quiet and Merlin kissed him, slow and easy.

Arthur pushed into the kiss. His limbs felt oddly heavy, the air strangely warm- but he felt so good.

He winced when Merlin pulled out of him but he didn’t go far, tumbling to the grass beside him.

“That was perfect,” Merlin whispered. “That was so good. You were so good for me- so perfect-”

Arthur took his lips in a kiss to shut him up, too overwhelmed by it all to bear his praise. He felt loose and happy, too much so. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way, he was supposed to worry-

“Everything will be alright,” Merlin whispered and Arthur believed him. “Everything will be alright now.”

 

* * *

 

Arthur woke slowly, wondering at how _warm_ he felt.

He sat up and frowned when the feathered cloak covering him slid down to his waist. He remembered being in the forest, being on the bank of a lake- he had no idea where he was now.

He was in the middle of some sort of field. As far as the eye could see there was only ripe golden grain.

“Arthur,” Merlin said from somewhere above and Arthur looked up with a gasp.

Merlin was there, standing over him. He looked human again, the silver ring glittering on his finger. He offered his hand and Arthur took it, standing on shaky legs.

“What-” Arthur managed.

Merlin laughed, his blue eyes glittering with mirth. “Come along,” he said. “It’s time to return.”

Merlin helped him dress and after Arthur followed him as they walked back to Camelot, trailed by wagons full to bursting with grain, with _life._

When Arthur returned the people cheered, clapping and hooting wildly as he walked at the head of the procession. He had no idea how many wagons followed or how, all he knew was Merlin’s hand in his, impossibly warm.

Once they’d made it to the main yard of the castle Arthur tightened his hand over Merlin’s and pulled him away.

“Thank you,” he whispered as he pressed Merlin into a hidden niche in the wall. “Thank you.”

Merlin would go now, he knew. He’d go, and Arthur would be alone again. But at least he’d made it through this. He’d saved his people from famine. It was worth it, all of it.

But he’d miss Merlin all the same.

Merlin laughed, raising his hand to run his fingers over Arthur’s face.

“Did you think I was finished with you?”

Arthur looked up at him in shock, not quite sure how to read the expression over Merlin’s face.

“I promised to give you what you need,” Merlin said with a smile. “You need so many things, Arthur Pendragon. I will give you all of them. This is just the beginning.”

“What are you?” Arthur whispered, raising his hand to press his thumb to Merlin’s plush lower lip.

“I am Emrys,” Merlin laughed.

“What does that mean?”

Merlin paused, thinking. He smiled again, tracing his fingers over Arthur’s cheek. “I am the moon and the sky,” he whispered. “I am the lantern and the dark, the ocean and the tide. I am what I am- and you are what you are. Together we can bring balance back to this world. Together we can do anything.”

“Yes,” Arthur said with a smile, contemplating the future with hope for once. It was only now that he realized he could shape it to his desires. It was only now that being the King felt like a privilege rather than a burden.

 

* * *

 

Merlin stayed with him for weeks and months and years. They brought peace and prosperity to Camelot, they brought magic back to the land. They buried three iron nails and a white goose feather in the middle of the fields to ward off ill fortune and starvation. They tied red thread around the door handles to the throne room and sprinkled the threshold with salt and wine to ensure no lies could enter. They blessed Arthur’s crown with pine and sage, witch hazel and honey- for wisdom and clear sight, for temperance and mercy. They did so much more besides, and through it all Merlin shared his burden and his bed, stood at his side and gave him good council.

Arthur could hardly bear how good it was, how close they were. And still there was fear at the back of his mind, fear of Merlin leaving.

The day the fear passed was a day like any other, no different or special compared to the ones that came before. A servant brought a basket of ruby red apples to Arthur’s chambers and Arthur smiled when he picked one up, shining it on his shirt before raising it to his lips.

“Rude,” Merlin said with a laugh, stepping up behind him to press a kiss to the side of his neck.

“What?” Arthur asked, turning to face him. “Why?”

“Aren’t you going to offer me one?” Merlin asked, tilting his head to the side, awkward and elegant all at once.

Arthur’s mouth went dry and suddenly all he could hear was the pounding of his heart. Wordlessly he held out the apple and watched with bated breath as Merlin slowly leaned forward, staring back at him the whole time with his bright golden eyes.

Merlin smiled, his eyes full of love and joy, and took a bite.

  


_fin._

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [barbitone](http://barbitone.tumblr.com/) and pillowfort also at [barbitone](https://www.pillowfort.io/barbitone)


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